My Life as B-Man

An Old Proverb

2007-02-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea...especially if it is the only one you have.

Oops...I slipped!!!

2007-01-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

Today I said something bad...I used a swear word in the middle of my seminary class and no one cared. In fact, one guy gave me a HIGH-5 for doing so...Interesting.

Proud Papa

2006-09-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I was reading on the internet that there is a connection between the length of a girl's fingers and her sports potential. Here is an excerpt of the article:

"The length of a girl's ring finger could be an indicator of her future sporting potential, researchers at King's College London said on Thursday.

In the largest study of its kind, hand measurements of 607 female twins aged 25-79 from the UK were compared with the women's lifetime sporting achievements.

The findings, published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, found that women with ring fingers longer than their index fingers had performed better at running and associated running sports such as soccer and tennis."

So what is the point of all this? Joelle's ringfingers are longer than her pointer fingers. I always wanted a little girl that played softball, volleyball, tennis, soccer...

Is it too early to buy her her first bat and glove???

Wierd Words

2006-08-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

So, you know there are wierd words out there in the world. But who knew that family, father, daughter would be some of them.

The other day at camp, one of the speakers asked for all the fathers to raise their hand. I did since I am a father. But then I realized how wierd, scary, and the excessive responsibility was wrapped up in the word, "father".

I wonder if Darth Vader understood that too for the first time when he said, "Luke, I am your father."

Da Vinci was WHAT?

2006-06-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

So maybe the answer to who was the model for the Mona Lisa is an odd one. It looks like Da Vinci used himself for Mona Lisa...but then again, if I had the number of wrinkles he has in the picture, I would think about removing some in a painting too.

But I definitely do not think I would take off so many wrinkles that I became a woman!!!

My Life...

2006-06-07T21:21:00.001-07:00

So, yeah...I feel like the little kid right now. Sometimes, the things your future holds are not much to look at.

Scary Furniture!!!

2006-05-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

(BREATHE HERE)

AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Our first crib...enough said.

Morals Schmorals...

2006-05-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

It seems that Christians might just be proven correct about somethings. Yeah I know we Christians are "in the dark ages" with some of our views on sexuality, pornography, dating, marriage and what not. But you know, one thing seems to becoming clearer and clearer to me. Christians beliefs in objective truth helps to provide stability in a chaotic and evil world. Moral structures are needed to outline the proper behavior for a society and society must be willing to adhere to this moral structure and be willing to punish those who do not abide by the structure.

The second a person decides that morals are bad, no truth can be had, and all is relative, that person will immediately find themself on a slippery slope that can't ever level off. All actions must immediately become permissable since who can judge what is right? Who can say anyone is wrong?

We are getting close to this point where we care more for the freedom to act than those those who are injured by one's freedom to act.
Check out this story.

How moral is it to let a criminal of this sort off without any punishment? What about the protection of the girl who was smaller than this small guy? How could we, the USA, with the Constitution that is supposed to protect the innocent and the weak, get to a place where those (regardless of size) can prey on the innocent and weak and virtually get away with it? Did you notice that even the ACLU does not agree with this ruling. What does this tell you?

My prayers are with the little girl.

My prayers are with that judge who has lost the understanding of what it means to dispense justice.

If being a Christian means that truth exists, that some actions are wrong and should be punished be it now or later, that people must have solid boundaries and consequences, then I am ok with that. I am ok admitting that our world is messed up. I am ok saying that not all people can be trusted and some people are destructive. I am ok taking a stand and saying that someone's actions are wrong and they deserve to be punished because they made a CHOICE to HURT A LITTLE GIRL and not waiver when it comes time to punish that pervert.

I am ok with morals. I am ok with justice. I am not ok with this injustice. Again, my prayers are with this little girl and our nation's judges.

Dang...Wrong AGAIN!!!

2006-05-25T13:55:00.001-07:00

You ever heard the expression, "everything I needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten?" Yeah...Well, they lied.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Oliver North:
National Security was at stake.

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan:
I forget.

The Sphinx:
You tell me.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelet.

And think, I thought it was to get to the other side. I went to a lame Kindergarten.

Thought of the Day

2006-05-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

Success without a successor is a failure.

Life is a CIRCLE

2006-05-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

You know what I am hating right now? Circles. Yeah, cause that is my life.

I write a sermon and then as soon as it is done, I have three more to do.

I just finished the spring session of school last week and here I am, sitting in the same exact room just four days later taking another class. Ah yes...Don't forget I have an intensive class for two weeks straight right after this class. That means I will be in class for 4 hours a night every day for two weeks straight. BYE ANNA!!!

Dang, I miss my wife.

You know what is cool? The other day I had to go to the DMV for some paper work for my bus license. I was in and out of the DMV in a matter of 6 minutes. Record? Yeah...I think so.

Random Thoughts

2006-03-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

So I was doing some reading in Exodus for my homework. I typed in 'grey areas' and realized this is the first time I have written or typed the word grey in years. So this is kind of a big deal for me I guess. Ok...just thought you would like to know.

See...some things are random.

The Expanding Horizons

2006-02-26T14:29:00.000-08:00

So someone the other day someone was complaining about my lack of blogging and the fact that I have not posted any expanding belly pics of Anna. I will not mention the name of the soccer playing SDSU attending friend of Emma who was really, truly being rude about my negligence on this issue. But if you like, you may click here!!! to see some pics I took down at Ocean Beach of Anna and our bundle of joy.

The Joy of Vacations

2005-12-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

Vacations are great but are mostly misused. Why is it the human body decides it is time to sleep and rest the second you are on vacation. I almost slept until 11 am today. Not that I am complaining, but it seems like the second you get a day off you sleep it away. There are tons of things you would love to do on your vacation and then as soon as you wake up it is night and time to go to sleep.

The Quest is Ended!!!

2005-12-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest regrets of my moving to Orange County (besides the traffic) is the lack of GOOD carne asada fries. Well, I found a new mexican place today that not only serves carne asada fries, but GOOD carne asada fries. I feel like I have just entered Nirvana...but since it doesn't exist, well, you know.

Time 2 Grow Up

2005-12-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

So some things you expect to see and others you do not. For instance, you expect to see a 5 year old pick their nose and eat their prize. What you do not expect to see is a college age girl who works in the library, pick her nose and eat, well try to eat her prize. She realized she missed it, looked at her finger, and when finding the prize a second time dug in. She then licked her lips. Is the food really that bad at APU?

Ignorance is Bliss

2005-11-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

So school is good cause it is fun sometimes and you sometimes get smarter. But you know, sometimes the more you learn the more difficult your faith becomes and what not. For instance, in my theology classes, you learn that Moses did not write the Pentatuch, other people did. You learn things like "open canon" which means it was completely ok for many people to amend or add to much of the prophets writtings which took in some cases, over a hundred years for them to acheive their final form. It is becoming so clear as to why people love fundamentalism since there is no room for any of these variables in their religious understanding. Many of these things really shift your understanding of the Bible and thus shakes and shifts your faith. Things you have been relying as crutch to your faith gets shifted or removed and you need to take a few "HHMMM" moments to re-evaluate.

The other reason ignorance is bliss is Anna is sitting on the couch right now while I am supposed to be writting a paper on the Davidic Monarchy and the possible allusions to the kingship of David as seen in Genesis 38. Yeah...right now, if given the choice, I would take ignorance or David so I could spend some time with my wife.

Read Between the Lines

2005-11-24T21:36:00.000-08:00

SO...if you read between the two little red lines, you can see that Anna is pregnant. We are expecting a little bundle July 9th. So, now we are reading and learning about diapers, bottles and I am trying to learn a few lullabys to sing.

The parents found out today and good for us, they were quite pleased. So, that is that. It is amazing what fits between two little red lines.

A $22,305 Bargain

2005-11-01T14:18:00.000-08:00

So, there is really no need for it but to be the only one in my apartment complex with a computer that costs more than a car, but I still want it. Check out the specs on this!!! I went top of the line on it all! 5K on the biggest monitors by Apple and the whole nine years Oh yeah...I should probably mention the memory is approximately $12,000 of the total cost of the computer. There is really only one reason on this blessed Earth I will ever get a car worth this much let alone this computer: Anna.

Oh wait. She likes to spoil me. The real reason is I have no money.

Specifications

2GHz Dual-core PowerPC G5
16GB 533 DDR2 ECC SDRAM - 8x2GB
2x500GB Serial ATA - 7200rpm
QUADRO FX 4500 512MB SDRAM
Apple Cinema HD Display (30" flat panel)
Apple Cinema HD Display (30" flat panel)
AirPort Extreme + Bluetooth built-in
16x SuperDrive double-layer (DVD+R DL/DVD±RW/CD-RW)
Fibre Channel PCI Express Card (w/SFP-SFP cable)
Apple Wireless Keyboard & Mouse - U.S. English
Mac OS X - U.S. English

WAIT!!! She DOESN'T spoil me!!!

2005-11-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

Remember when I had my surgery? And then we took the poll about whether or not Legos was therapy or not? Almost everyone said it was therapy. But did Anna believe you guys? NO!!! She did not care enough about my recovery to buy me the Millennium Falcon. What is up with this picture? No, not the one on the blog, the one about my wife not providing the tools for me to have a full and healthy life? She waters the plants once a week, but me? I am sad. I think I need some therapy.

She is at work right now...HMM. I can be gone and back by the time she gets home. I have almost an hour and 45 minutes.

It is definitely time for my support group.

Ode to the Eskimos

2005-10-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

I would love to be an Eskimo right now for one reason: Unchanging Weather. You always have the same forecast. "Today we will have snow, ice, and cold." They probably don't even have a weather channel cause it is even more boring than our weather channel.

Now that I am getting older, this weather/pressure change kills my head. It is like having spikes being driven through my eye and a nail through the forehead with a small train resting on the back of my neck.

Eskimos don't have this problem, right?

The Ultimate Challenge, Part One and Two

2005-09-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

So there have been two ultimate challenges lately in our home. The first is that I not only keep off the weight I lost due to my surgery, but drop 5 more pounds. That would put me at a respectable 175 or 178. Not too bad. The second challenge is a bit tougher.

I challenged Anna to take me on a date. I have not been taken out in a long time. We don't even talk; it's like I don't even exist anymore. Yeah, so as you can tell I am the female in the relationship. So tomorrow night Anna is taking me out. I am so nervous!!! What do I do? What if she wants to hold my hand or kiss me? What if the date goes really well? How far is too far on the first date? Oh yeah...we are married.

AAUUGGGGHHHHH!!! What do I WEAR?

Things You Learn

2005-09-19T18:16:00.001-07:00

So as I get older, I learn more. Yeah, I am still going to school, but that aside, I am learning lots in the "real world". Just last night Anna and I were at a Lingere store at this outlet mall near Palm Springs. They advertised a free bra sizing and Anna said, "Ooh...sounds like fun!" So she went and proceeded to have this free service done on herself. At the end, the store lady said, "you are a 34B". To this I replied, "Are you sure they are not a C or D?" Oops...somethings you do not say in public. The store lady proceeded to yell at me and told me, "This is something you are just going to have to get used to it." Well, at this point I got really fiesty and said, "We will just have to see about that...we will just see."

What's the Deal?

2005-09-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

So remember when MacDonald's was the cool place to be and go? I remember being so bitter that my parents would not take me...I was traumatized.

Want the proof that the media is biased? Think of the last five news stories that spoke on the hazards of fast food. What resturant did they show? MacDonalds. I do not think I have seen them showcase any other fast food resturant...why are they mad at MacDonalds? Is MacDonalds the only fast food resturant that sells bad food?

I am sure the fat that Burger King, Jack, Taco Bell and all the others is much safer then what that stupid clown Ronald uses. So much for those golden arches.

Could be worse

2005-08-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

So I was about to complain cause I have to go back to work tomorrow. There also is the issue of school beginning...taking 12 units at the Master's level so I am going to be busy. Well...as I said, I was about to complain and then I saw the news with the update of the New Orleans thing and I realized it could be worse. Wow...that is crazy.

Anyways, good summer...had my jaw broken and almost all my teeth touch now so that is a new and novel thing. Anna and I went to Wyoming couple of weeks ago and saw antelope, buffalo (one which was scratching it's butt on a fence pole), ate at a Vegas buffet, drove the strip and saw the reasonssssss why they call it "Sin City", and so much more. Oh yeah, I also performed my first baptism at Summer Camp so that was cool.

Life here at the Ferguson's will be changing big-time in the very near future. Anna is...well...how do you say it...going to school this year also. She is starting her Master's Program at APU via the online program they offer. I think it is the "Library Services and Media Something or Another Credential and Masters." So the two of us will be quite busy with school which means probably not that busy getting babies so, of course, I am sad.

I just have to remember, it could be worse.

Power Color ON!!!

2005-07-16T12:18:00.000-07:00

I like colors. Colors are cool. I am glad to know what my power color is. Did not know I had a power color or that they even existed!!! I am so excited. What do you do with a power color? I am not sure, but I will begin by wearing "power color" underwear!!!!

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest:
You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.

At Your Lowest:
You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.

In Love:
You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.

How You're Attractive:
Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.

Your Eternal Question:
"What else do I need in my life?"

What's Your Power Color?

Time to Thrive

2005-07-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ok...so when you are in top condition you do not realize the importance of some of the finer, often under-appreciated things of life. Today, I learned my lesson. I will never under-appreciate the ability to spit again. Less than 30 minutes ago the joy of hocking a loogie* was mine for the first time since July 6th. AAAHHHHH!!!

*hock a loogie - verb - to cough up a phlegm wad. "Loogie" is pronounced with a hard G. ("He hocked a loogie on the wall.")

Boring...

2005-07-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

So I did the rejected crayon thing since my wife has been talking about it for a week now...I am Los Angeles Sky Brown or something totally boring. You try it...

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Victory Lane

2005-07-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

YEE-HAW!!!!

Well, you just might as well as consider this whole surgery thing a done deal. Time for the victory lap!!! Went to the doc today and told me I do not have an infection which is good. I was worried about having one too. I acidentally was taking my meds wrong for a couple days...I was only taking 5 mL of penicillin instead of th 10 mL. OOPS!!! The jaw alignment is all good and the stitches have almost completely dissolved.

So the doc freed up my jaw and put four rubberbands on the braces just like one would have during regular orthodontic work. So I can pop these bands off when I want to eat and brush my teeth!!!! Yes....eating and brushing. What a feeling. What great news!!! Remember though, the bad news always follows the good news. Bad news #1: I can only eat soft things. So for my first meal back I had half of a milk shake and a side of mashed potatoes and gravy. Bad news #2: My jaw is so cramped up I can not get my jaw opened enough to actually brush them. Also, I have this retainer thing in my mouth which is supposed to keep the realigned pieces of my jaw in place does not allow me to brush half of the top of my mouth.

I wish that bad news did not follow good news.

Mission Completed

2005-07-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

So I just got done saying how it has been a week since I have left my house. Well, I just got the excuse I was looking for...my paycheck was in and if I did not get it in the next three days they were going to ship it 2 miles down the road. Well, hey, I know when I am being pushed so I ran (hobbled) out the door and drove 6 miles to get my check.

Did not realize I have not combed my haird since Tuesday, July 5th. Did not realize how tired one could get walking 150 feet to one's car and how much one's eyes can become unacustomed to sunlight in a week even when their windows are open. I felt like John Wayne after I got back home so I completed another post-surgery goal of mine - finish an entire slim fast drink in one setting.

Let's just say, if one could make a hybrid of 007 and John Wayne, yeah that would be me.

Solitary Lockdown

2005-07-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

Pic taken a day after the surgery

Ok...So my jaw surgery was on July 6th. One calendar week will be completed today. Got home around 5ish on Wednesday. Since then, I have not left my house. Including one nap, I have spent less then one hour in the bedroom, maybe two hours in the bathroom taking hot showers, a few sitting at the kitchen table choking down some meds and doing saline "irigations", and the rest of the time on the couch. It is hard to believe that someone can sit around and do nothing for 7 days and loose weight.

Funny how the mind works. Now that I have realized I have been a prisioner of my couch for seven days, I am really wanting to get out of this apartment.

Any good movie recommendations? I am waiting on some more movies from Blockbuster.com to come back. Just finished Season Three of 24 (Yeah, that is right the season in about 2.5 days), Band of Brothers (less than a day), Holes, The Three Stooges DVD and a few others.

Look what I found in my email?

2005-04-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Look what I found in my email?
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

Anyone up for a BBQ?

It's Just Wierd - Like ALOT

2005-04-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

So I had a meeting with my pastor tonight. He is old...seventy or so. He has kids in their mid to late 40's so this is no spring chicken of a man. Beign that he has kids, I understand he has had sex, but when a guy of this age says the word 'sex', it is just kinda wierd. Makes you think, "Does he miss it?" He has been saying it alot lately so it is just wierd. A lot wierd. Am I over reacting?

Oh yeah...this is a PG-13 blog for use of mature language. If you did not catch it, the word was 'sex'.

A New Land Speed Record

2005-04-12T18:50:00.000-07:00

So I usually hate Tuesdays since I get up at 5:45 and go to work and then get on the freeway and drive for over 1.5 hours to get to school to sit there for 4 hours so I can leave at 10 PM and go home and crawl in bed so I can get up at 5:45 the next day again. Tuesdays are about as long as this last sentance is. But today I made it to school in one hour and ten minutes. I was flying!!! Do the math yourself! Seventy minutes to travel 35 miles!!! You have no clue how many G's I was pulling today. Believe it or not, one night it took 2.25 hours to get to school so you can see why I am stoked.

My Alma Mater

2005-04-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

My alma mater
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So as I was coming home from my sister's wedding, I could not believe my eyes as I walked through the Seattle Airport...SHS ONLY? Does this mean Santana High School only? That is my high school? I knew the school was wanting, but the trash? Really? And if so, how did they know that all the way in Seattle?

Nothing

2005-04-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

You know how you try and think of things to share and there is nothing? I have been having that problem for about a month. I will work really hard to think of something valuable to share.

Google Me Baby!!!

2005-03-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, first off I have to print a retraction of yesturday's blog. I was not trying to say I could not think of wedding songs, what I meant to say is it is impossible to block out all else but wedding songs. You know, all those great songs like 867-5309 and Jesse's Girl and Welcome to the Jungle.

Second off, google me! I did and it is SO exciting!!! I am published. I have 5 pages of search results all for typing in brianfurg on the google search engine. And my mom said I would not amount to anything.

I told Anna to google me and she said no. I am sad. Obviously, we have intimacy issues.

iTunes: Good vs. Evil

2005-02-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

The phenomena known as iTunes is, in my opinion, yet to be decided as a good or evil invention.

My little sister is getting married and I was in charge of dinner music and what not. In that respect it is great...take your pick of over 1,000,000 songs. Pick any one for only 99 cents. The upside is you do not have to buy the whole cd, just the song you want.

The down side is this: When one is racking their brain for great songs for a wedding, one is unable to think of the 28 years of music listening experience (or however old you happen to be) and think of all the thousands of songs you just love. You say to yourself, "It's is just 99 cents!" so you buy and buy and buy. Twelve minutes later you realize to spent over 25 dollars on music.

So I am not sure of the inherent quality of iTunes yet. But I see that Good vs. Evil transcends Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and meets you right in your own living room.

What Non-Mac Computers Are Good For

2005-02-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

Mine, All Mine
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So I got this camera for free. Well, kinda. I sold my old non-mac computer to my mom for $500 bucks. Then, my little sister is getting married so my mom asked me to take the pics of the wedding but I was not ok with that since Anna's camera does not do good in the dark. So my parents were going to get a professional photographer to do the pics. Well, you know a place is jacked up when you can not pay someone money for them to come and take pics of a wedding AT THE WEDDING!!!! All you can get a photographer to do in Montana is take pics of the wedding party in a studio!!! So I struck up a deal with my parents. They bought half of the camera for me so I could take the pics of the wedding (which would actually be at the wedding and not a studio) for less money than the photographer to take non-wedding wedding photos. Good thing I had a non-mac computer cause now the camera was like, well, uhmm, free.

So I had to buy a case, memory card and a tripod.

The Man who wants my Sister

2005-02-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

The Man who wants my Sister
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So my little sister is engaged and is getting married March 5th. Anna and I are flying to Montana for this shin-dig. His name is Wade A. "S" stands for some german name that I forget how to pronounce and will not try to spell but is something like Allschwager or something like that.

The Ladies' Man

2005-02-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

So it is official. I have been married one year and my wife loves me more now than she did before. I am not saying that so as to suprise you, but more of a matter of fact. If you think about it, how could she not? Last night was our anniversary; know what we did? She did some of my work for church while I did homework. Valentine's is coming. I have a great plan: taxes. When I shared with her my plan for Valentine's Day, she clapped and said, "Oh GOOD!"

It is tough to be such a great ladies man. I just can't keep her off of me or the other ladies!!! Must be due to my romantic side.

OPPS...I forgot!!!

2005-01-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

So yesturday I had to pee really bad during work which is bad since I am a bus driver...can't just stop what you are doing and go down the hall and do what you have to do. To make matters worse, my office is very bouncy which is bad on a full bladder.

So when I got to the last school for the day I parked the bus and ran to the bathroom to do my business and it was wonderful. No more pressure!!! So when I was done I left the bathroom as every decent and moral man would.

As I was walking back to my bus, there was about 200 kids standing in line ready to get on the 4 buses with tons of parents and faculty all around when I realized in my rush to leave the bathroom and get back to my bus, I forgot to zip!!! I was mortified!!!

Don't Let Friends Sleep and Drive

2004-12-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So yesturday on my way home from work I was rear-ended by one of the cutest old ladies who said she fell asleep behind the wheel. Her car, not too much damage seeing as it was a Ford Van Conversion. Anyway, she fell asleep and hit me in the back going 20+ mph and I crashed into the person in front of me. Yes, I was stopped at a light waiting for the green. So the back end is jacked and even my muffler is jacked!!! Anyways, the moral of the story is do not buy nice cars. I have owned three jacked cars and nothing!!! Two new cars and three, COUNT THEM, THREE trips to the body shop!!! Somebody buy me a 1982 Volvo!!!

My Front End Damage

2004-12-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So this is the pic of the front of my car which slammed into a Lexus and did basically zero damage to it. My car, yeah...Let's see...replace the front bumper, replace the hood, pull the tie rods out, rework the fender and maybe more. That will be over 3K in work!!!

Bus Driver, are you black?

2004-12-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

So you can probably tell that this blog maybe somewhat racial and have racial profilling overtones...Just a slight warning.

The other day I was driving my school bus and there were two Vietnamese students and one Black student in the bus sitting right behind me. One of the Vietnamese students asked, "Bus Driver, are you black?".

"No," I replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Cause you look black", the fourth grade girl responded.

"You really think I look black?" I continued to question wondering why she thought a blonde hair, blue-eyed and red goatee man was black. When I asked this question, all three students responded "Yeah" and nodded their head.

I told them that I was Scottish, German and Irish. To this the girl responded, "Can you play one of those, um...uh..."

"Bagpipes?"

"Yeah!!! That is it!"

"No," I replied and gently reminded them all that I am black.

My Wife's Lost Son

2004-12-09T18:30:00.000-08:00

So Anna has what she calls "A Disease". I am personally wondering if it is grounds for admittance to one of those padded rooms. She has this obsession with putting her finger in my belly button. When she succeeds or when I am just to tired to care, after putting her finger in my belly button she lets out this huge "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" like what you used to see in the 80's soda commercials. It used to drive me nuts cause she would thrust her finger in there at supersonic speeds with no braking capabilities. I think a few times she tickled my spine when she did it. Today I saw a kindergartener on the bus who has to be Anna's long lost son.

He was sitting in the front seat next to me wearing a Spiderman shirt. (Why is Spiderman a major recurring theme in this blog). He had the bottom of his shirt pulled up enough to see his belly button and was singing a song to it. That was the funniest part - he was serenading his belly button!!! This kid definately has the same disease as my wife. The song went something like this: "Belly BUUUTTTT-ON!! I have a belly but-TTOOOONNNNNN!"

A Poem For Me

2004-12-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

So the second I woke up this morning, my wife shared with me a poem she wrote for me. She is awesome when she writes:

You are my special gift,
Without you I would be adrift.
I want to give you a bear hug,
And not sweep you under the rug.
My love is as vast as the ocean is wide,
I want to poke you in the side.

You see now why I love this girl?

Lazy Days are Good

2004-12-01T22:36:00.000-08:00

You know some days I love my school bus job. Today I was paid for doing almost nothing. It was great...Got a bible study written with a worksheet done, reading for school, and I also did some research on basic care maintenance. Very productive day.

I am waiting for Friday...I have a non-student day at work and will only be there for a couple hours for training. Anna is going to play hookey from work 1/2 day so we will get to have the afternoon off together. I think Friday will be really relaxing since I just finally got unwound two days ago from the Thanksgiving holiday. Unfortunately I did not enjoy the four days off as a 'relaxation' time since I was experiencing those guilt feelings of needing to do something. But I was good...I forced myself to rest eventhough it was tough. Now that I am supposed to be resting and have work to do I am finding myself still resting but without guilt. AAAHH! Time for a chocolate milk and SG-1 (on DVD) before church!!!

Macs are good, Part 2

2004-11-27T23:10:00.000-08:00

So I finally got around to setting up my airport express to wirelessly connect my computer to the entertainment system. So now, from any room in my house, I can be playing my music from my iTunes over my stereo system. Then if I am gone and my wife wants to do the same, all she does is click a button to get her computer to hook up wirelessly and BAM!!! She can play her music through the wonderful Bose speakers of mine. No stupid cables, plugging or un-plugging, computer speakers, etc. Airport Expresses are great. It is a wireless network for internet, computer to computer networks, music and printing all for $120. Can't beat that. Anyways...gotta love Macs.

Long Weekends Mess With Me

2004-11-27T11:09:00.000-08:00

I love long weekends but I hate them. At the end of the second day I get all ready to go back to work cause of the internal clock thing. I guess it is good I have a decent work ethic but then I can not relax cause my brain does not want to. So anyways, here it is Saturday and I am still, for some reason, thinking that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

Well today is a day of great boredom. I have about 200 pages of reading to do for class and I am so not in the mood. I will try and get some done but who knows. We will see. The wife just left for a baby shower so it maybe time to hack into her very not exciting at all blog and write another great story to help her out. Until then, I am going to procrastinate some more.

Scared Stiff

2004-11-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

Ok...so I have a confession to make: I am scared. Exactly two weeks ago today Anna and I painted her desk black. Today I just got done painting our entertainment center the same exact color with the same exact can of paint. So I am scared cause we just got all of our apartment back together after the flood incident which I am convinced was because we painted the desk. The trouble is now that the entertainment center is painted all of the electronic goods are on the floor. So if we have a worm-hole/parallel world experience and revisit the flood, then a grand of electronics will not be happy. There, I said it. I feel much better now. Thank you.

Water Damage

2004-11-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

P1000115_1
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

So this is the problamatic whole we had in our ceiling. It measured almost 4x8 feet. Anna learned yesterday that the broken pipe was the hot water pipe. The alarm that went off was our fire alarm due to the large amounts of steam in the apartment. So now we have a completely new ceiling since they pulled down the old one and put a new one in.

AAAHHHH!!

2004-11-20T17:05:00.000-08:00

So, after a week of living with the in-laws, being evicted from our quaint and lovely apartment, we are back in and all it back in order.

So for now, I am going to rest cause I had no clue how much junk we have until you have to move it two or three times in a week.

Hump Day

2004-11-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

Ok...so I knew today was Wednesday, really. But as I was walking out of work this evening I had a really wierd thought but it is not my fault. This time of the year is hated by me, alot. I hate the sun being down and it all being dark by 5 or so. So it always seems to be 11 PM at 7 for me and so on. So for some reason cause the sun was going down and it was the end of the day, I just assumed it was the end of the week. I was planning my day off for tomorrow only to realize I have two more days to go.

But the good news is that I will be getting a 3.25% raise which will be retroactive to JJuly 1st. The bad news is I did not work for over a month of that cause of summer break. The good news is I can now buy Anna an IPod for Christmas. The bad news is she doesn't really want one or have a need for one. The good news is I do!!!

Home Wet Home

2004-11-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

So the other day we got a phone call telling us a pipe broke thus flooding the ceiling. Once the ceiling was flooded and properly wet, the ceiling came tumbling down all over our house and our possessions. Since then we have been living with my in-laws and not in our apartment. I have done the math and we are paying $30 a day for rent for which I am recieving nothing.

Fortunately the apartment managers are really swell. When they found out what was going on, they broke into our apartment (since we were out of town), moved all of our furniture out of the living room protecting it from the flood which poured from the heavens. So we were supposed to be able to move back in on Monday. I told the manager there was no way that was going to happen. He assured me it would so I attempted to not be a pessimist. But here it is tuesday and I am not on my couch. I am sitting a few miles away from my couch in my in-laws house. My couch has a hole in the ceiling about 4x8 feet big. So one day soon I hope, I will be back in my apartment. Until then, I am enjoying the company and hospitality of my great in-laws.

I have some pics of the damage and will get them up here as soon as I get back to my couch cause the cable for that is there.

Almost a Felon

2004-11-11T22:16:00.000-08:00

So Anna and I were at Lowe's tonight. Had to pick up some sand paper, paint, 27 drawer handles...you know, the basics. It is obvious that one's hands are not big enough to hold 27 drawer handles. You might be thinking "put them in a basket, idiot!". We did not have one because it was a last minute thought. So I figured I would put them in the pockets of my jacket cause they were empty. When my hand was almost in my pocket I realized what I was doing and thought "I am an idiot." So I said to Anna, "Snag that box from over there." So we put our handles in this box we grabbed, paid for the handles and walked out of the store with this box. I am just glad that we did not break the law by taking something that did not belong to us.

Great Question...

2004-11-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

So this girl at youth group asked me:

If your wife were pregnant with twins and the doctor said both were going to die unless one of them were aborted, what would you do?

I said, "hmm...good question." Never really thought about that. What do you think?

Christmas wish

2004-11-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

m1_small
Originally uploaded by brianfurg.

I was told today of a great deal on M-1 Garand rifles. They are the rifle the Americans used in WWII. I want one. They only cost $295. In fact, I want 10.

Wrapping Things Up

2004-11-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

It is so nice to get some stuff taken care of. Remember that paper that was due on Friday? Yeah, well, I finally got it done yesturday and turned it in today. So it was a week late, who cares? My prof said, "Don't worry...I have such a huge stack of work to grade, I probably would not have gotten to it yet anyways."

Took my first in class essay final of my master's program. Had to respond to five questions. The first three responses were three pages and the last two, that is right, one page each. I convinced myself it was to help out my prof who would have to grade my stacks of essays plus the whole classes. Had to handwrite the answers. I forgot how many muscles it takes to write. I think I wrote more tonight by hand than I have for the last 6 months.

In the Holiday Mood

2004-11-07T19:36:00.001-08:00

So there I was walking around some store, probably Wal-Mart. I know it is not a classy joint, but I saw all the decorations around for Christmas and I thought "Wow!!!" So, there is only one way to get into the holiday mood and that is to create a Christmas Wish List...so here is mine....

1. REI Giftcard - $35
2. Photo IPod - $499
3. Digital Camcorder - $650
3. Plasma Flat Screen TV - $2,999-4,999
4. 3 Bedroom House - $595,000+

I guess I am a greedy guy. You know, they say the older you get the more expensive your toys become. But the REI Giftcard is cheap...only $35. But, I do need about 63 of those because there is a lot of stuff I want...I mean, that I need to get for Anna. So long to days of lusting after Hotwheels and Star Wars figures, I need the expensive stuff now.

I will stop procrastinating tomorrow

2004-11-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

I have a 15 page paper due in 5.5 hours. I have known about it for 7 weeks. I am on page 4 (I think if you count the title page). If so much to do, why am I here? Because the professor says he does not count down for late work.

No worries...I will get the paper done tomorrow...but I have been saying that for 2 weeks now.

Macs are Good

2004-10-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

So for the longest time I was a hater of Macs and a lover of the Windows stuff...But you know, I am very happy with Mac. I like the simplicity of it all. It does what you want and nothing else. You do not have to worry about the computer having a mind of it's own cause it doesn't.

One of the things about the Mac I like is the software. You know how many times with a PC you have to enter in all the addresses and emails and phone numbers? It is crazy...I had three different places for all this information so I could do what I wanted to do. On my Mac, I have one address book. It interfaces with everything and that is great.

My wife and I decided a couple days ago we were going to stop spending money but she thinks I should spend another $1,750 to buy myself an IBook since I am always on HER IMac. I thought in a marriage you are to help each other carry their burdens. I have this burden to spend money and all she can say is "Buy!!!Buy!!!" I already have a laptop but it is not the same as a Mac. So we will see.

The Winds of Change

2004-10-27T16:02:00.000-07:00

I just realized today that Halloween is coming up. Well, I knew it was coming but I forgot kinda. As a school bus driver there are some holidays you wish did not exist. Valentine's Day. St. Patrick's Day (remember, for a fourth grader it is a moral necessity to pinch those who have not donned the green for the day's festivities). Halloween...basically any day in which the teachers use as an excuse to hop the kids up on sugar and take them to the play ground for the day.

I was all stoked this year since the holiday known as Halloween was on a Sunday. Then this little Kindergartener, with her big, cute, brown eyes, and yells I am dressing up on Friday!!!

Talk about dissappointment. I used to be so excited for Halloween but now as the responsible adult who has to buy 250 children candy when they get off my bus and then clean up there mess and deal with the sugar-drugged children who say things like, "I was not standing up on the bus, it was Spider-Man!", I am just not that excited for Halloween this year.

But as the winds of change alter my view of Halloween, there is one thing which just floats my boat. I will probably never get tired of saying things for the pure joy of shock value. So yeah...Anna's is not pregnant yet...but just wait...soon...like maybe tomorrow...

Why?

2004-10-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Why is it on days like today, I work for 7 hours and do only an hours worth of work but on days when I do 8 hours worth of work I do not get paid 56 hours of pay?

It is not that I do not like to work, I do. Really. It is just that I like money more and it would be good to have more money so we can take care of the upcoming baby situation. If my boss is happy paying me 7 hours of pay for 1 hour of work, why not make this a regular pay rate. After a month or so, I would be able to buy Massachuttes...oh...wait...Kerry lives there. I take it back. I could buy NEW JERSEY!!! Oh wait...there is that crazy governor who was paying his ex-lover to be the security what-not. I could buy Minnesota after two months!!! Oh yeah...Jesse Ventura. Is there not a state in the union who does not have a weirdo in the governmental system?

Well, gues I would work for three months and buy Cuba off of Castro. He is getting old and is probably looking for a nice retirement...I could provide him with that if only my boss would agree to my new pay scale.

You know, I would not even mind working for an hour, getting paid for seven and then coming home and having the rest of the day off. You know, I had 8 jobs like that it would be the same as my first plan...

The Best Short Run Ever

2004-10-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

My childhood is great. I am glad to hear many of you also have a warm spot in your heart for the old fort building days. Amen!!! May those days never fade away.

Today I had another childhood, well, adolescent moment. Rain is great. It smells good, washes away the nasty smells on the concrete and all that good stuff. Back in the day I did a ton of running for the cross country and track team. Running in the rain was the best. Splashing around, mud, feeling the cold water on your face, AAAHH! Wonderful.

I had a break early in the morning when there was a brisk rain. So I went for a run.

The best part of running in the rain is running down the gutter splashing water all over. Yes, I am 28 years old and still splash in the water. Back in the day, I could splash water from a gutter, mud puddle, or any form of liquid in any direction up to 15 feet whenever I felt like it.

It is funny how things change cause when I was attending SHS, splashing your team mates with muddy water was fun and the only socially acceptable thing to do. When I went back to coach, it was the grandest party foul ever to splash people. You know what is more fun than splashing people with muddy water who want to be splashed? That is right. Those people who do not want to be splashed with muddy water. You guessed it. I splashed them and realized that almost 10 years out of high school, I still had my skills. 360 degree range of fire up to 15 feet. I was a force to be rekoned with.

Unfortunately today, my only running companion were the memories...Good ones.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

2004-10-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

You know, there are good things in life. Chocolate ice cream. Disneyland. Cops. Oh, and when you get married...you know, there is that one thing. But is it possible to have too much of a good thing?

There are somethings that are good things but things that you do not really want to come into contact with firsthand. Yes, ice cream, Disneyland, and that married thing, all things you want to come into contact with first hand. Really. Those are all good things. Cops...Good thing but I prefer to not come into contact with them too much.

Today was one of those days when I got a bit too much of a good thing.

Anna was taking the day off from work and I had a break in my day so I came home from work. We were in the living room (by the way, we live in an apartment complex in Anaheim) and heard some searious banging going on on one of the apartment doors. The we heard, "Apartment 11! Open the door! Search Warrant!!!! Anaheim P.D.!!!" Well, apartment 11 is upstairs across the walkway from us. We have a perfect view of their window from our window. The banging and the shouts of the PD rang out again. I thought, "How weird would that be to have a police shootout right here in our own apartment complex?" Then I realized if I can see the suspect's window from my window, then bullets from a shootout could find a way from their window to my window which I was currently peeking out of. Being that taking a bullet in the eye while snooping on my neighbors who were incidentally being hunted down by the PD is not high on my to do list, I took my wife to the back of the apartment to hide.

A few minutes after it got quite, I went outside and my apartment manager was there.

"We being visited?" I asked.

"Yeah. SWAT is here. Hehe. Just Kidding."

Right then I found out that he was not kidding. A SWAT member came out of the apartment with two handguns and a semi-auto something or another which I would really of liked to have held hanging from around his neck. So, one encounter with a Cop carrying enough firepire to invade Osama's cave a day is about all I really want.

We are not done. I had about 5 cops following me for a total of 10-15 minutes during my school bus driving time after that. You know how paranoid I get? I am sure I am breaking atleast 20 laws a day when I drive. Route sheets in one hand, one eye on the road, one on the route sheets, one watching the 50 kindergarteners on the bus (yeah...that is one other good thing you can have too much of), and one eye looking for cars in the 6 mirrors you have on a school bus. I just know sooner or later I am going to break a law. Not an issue at all of competancy but of being able to do 20 things at a time. I am just not that smart and coordinated.

Well, it was a scrapbooking day at Anna's friend's parent's house. So I took here there and went to Costco. I just loaded all the goods into my car when I heard a helicopter and saw a bright light.

"This is the police!!! Put your hands in the air and walk away from the vehicle!" That is it!!! Too much. Cops are good but just far away from me is better, please.

Child's Play

2004-10-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

Well, last week was a great week. You ever have those kinds of weeks where you revisit your childhood for a moment or two and it just makes the week worth doing all over again? Yeah, it was that kind of a week.

I was on a not so happy bus...no tinted windows, no A/C. It was nap time and there did not seem to be any good seat in the bus to nap on. It seemed as if everywhere I went, the sun was just piercing the back of my retina. I was becoming quite disenchanted since I really wanted a nap and there was 20 minutes to kill...perfect duration for a power nap.

Becoming frustrated I remembered all you need for a fort is a couple blankets, two or three kitchen chairs and a flashlight. Well, since I wanted to sleep, a flashlight was not needed. But then I was filled with terror and fear!!! I did not have any kitchen chairs for the fort walls! Then I remember where I was...silly me. A forty foot school bus is full of seats which would do just fine. Feeling proud of myself for working through these first two trouble areas, I reached for the blankets. AHH!!! NO BLANKETS!!! I forgot a bus does not come equipped with the hall closet full of blankets as my mother's home does. But wait!!! I brought a jacket because it was cold when I woke up. So, with no flashlight, bus seats and a jacket I made a fort. Good thing I am 28 because if I was faced with such poor resources with the pressures of reducing retinal-solar burning at the age of 10, (the last time I built a fort) I probably would have cried like a little kid when their hot dog bun splits freeing the hot dog to plummet 12-18 inches onto the plate to it's death.

Sleeping in a fort is great. In fact, it was the best sleep I have had since I was 10 when I built forts in my mother's kitchen.

Kids say the darnest things.

2004-09-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

I get paid to drive kids around town. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes not. Often times I see a side of kids that worry me. I know they are young and have a lot to learn, but it just makes you wonder why they think the way they do.

The new phenomena is Spiderman paraphenalia. Shoes, backpacks, binders, folders, hats, underwear...you name it Spidey is on it. Kids are nuts. They show me Spiderman on their shoes all excited. "Look!!! Hey Bus Driver!!! I have SPIDERMAN!!!" like it is the real thing. Come on. 15 kids on the bus have Spiderman something or another and each of them act as if they have the real Spiderman on their stuff. Imagine this...a five year old kindergartener with a 6 foot tall Spiderman sowed to the back of his shoe!!! The real Spiderman who walks, talks, eats, poops, shoots webs and all attached to the back of a kid's backpack. Do these kids not know it is a sow on patch? or silk screen?

Kids freak out when they find out my name is Brian when they already know a Brian. It is almost as if knowing two Brian's will disable gravity and all the world will be destroyed. Today, after going through the "it is so freakin-weird that we are both named Brian" routine, some kid said, "Brian, I have a mom. I have a dad, too. Brian, do you have a dad?"

2004-09-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

B-Man and his wife.

The land you see is the end of the penninsula of Mexico. This picture was taken on our honeymoon cruise to Mexico.

After Good Comes Bad

2004-09-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today I realized the good of being a dad. I picked up some pre-K student and drove him a whopping 4 minutes to his school. Once we arrived, I took him to the office to drop him off. I explained to the secretary who this student was, Saul, and why he was late to school. The principal was standing there and volunteered to take Saul to his class. She reached down and took his hand to lead him away as any teacher would do to a young student. Saul did not realize this and let out a shrill scream. Did not know such a little guy could produce the same sound as an Amtrack. The principal looked at me and I shrugged thinking, "Good thing the little guy did not do this when his mom put him on the bus. Better your problem then mine." I was about to turn around and walk away when Saul wrestled free from the principal and took a dive at my left leg. He wrapped his arms around my ankle, staring at me with his brown eyes, crying, begging for me not to leave. The school secretary said, "Looks like you made a friend" to which I responded "I had him on the bus for only 4 minutes." Well, of course at this point I figured I would have to walk the student to class. So I offered which to the relief of the principal who gladly accepted. She thought it best for both of us to hold his hand while we walked him to class. Well Saul wanted none of that so I picked him up and carried him. No sooner did we leave the office did Saul stop crying. Fifteen seconds after that he had his arms wrapped around my neck, head on my shoulder as we bopped to class. That was such a good feeling. I was thinking about the joy of my own child, holding him as he demanded to hang out with his dad one more minute. Then came the bad. We got to his class. I told him where he was, that he will see his mom soon and I was going to put him down. As I put him down, he saw all the other pre-K'ers having fun. A second later a friendless toy caught his eye and off he went. He did not even say goodbye!!! You would think after having his head on my shoulder, taking a dive at my ankle begging me to stay he would atleast say goodbye. Hasn't his mom taught him any manners? Just remember, after good comes bad...

All The Little Things You Should Know

2004-09-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day back to work. I worked for 6 hours, transported three students and did a lot of learning (partly from the book I am reading and the rest from people). Here are the lessons I learned:

One thing that seems to always pop up is some employees are liked by their boss and some aren't. It is amazing what you can learn about stuff in the workplace if your boss likes you, namely who they like and don't like. One of the guys that pretty much all my bosses (5) do not like we will call Ted (as in 'Bill and Ted' cause they are both dumb). Ted does not seem to understand that you want to be nice to your boss. When your boss is doing 19 things to give them a chance to get what they view to be a priority taken care of before you make a nuisance of yourself. Well Ted I guess is a ted cause he thinks if you get a really stern voice and yell at your supervisor over the radio (which by the way is aired in approximately 125 different locations that I know of) you will not only get your boss' attention sooner but also gain their favor. I hope I can put this into practice so I can be more liked by my bosses.

The other thing I learned is on the first day of school do not count on your student's teacher getting your kid on the right bus. It was amazing how many kids we had who were lost today. I can remember 10 or so. There were around 20 kids which were not 'lost' but on the completely wrong bus on the wrong side of town. You know, the 'wrong-side of town' that is 30 minutes away from their home. Now, my wife has already made a comment on one of my blog entries regarding my tendancy to exaggerate. Maybe I exaggerate sometimes, but this is no exaggeration. My quesiton is this: If the teachers just throw kids on a bus so they can leave work early on the first day of the school year, what do these teachers do the rest of the year? Some of the classrooms have small closets. Do the teachers tie the kids up and shove them all in the closet for a couple hours a day? I think they must because some kids I drive are pretty dumb...oops...maybe I should say challenged. This one school I drove out of last year had some 'challenged' youth. The four times I drove out of this school I always drove for the same bus. Two other buses would pick up at that school. I, because of scheduling, was always last in line just as it occured when the regular driver was there. These kids, like 30 of them, would walk to the front bus and ask if it was there bus. Mind you, this same bus and driver was there everyday and told them everyday which bus was theirs. Then, walking away from the first bus, would ask the second bus if that bus was theirs. The second bus would tell the kids what the first bus told them and upon forgetting the second bus drivers' information would walk to the third and final bus. Only three buses would go there and ask, "Is this Paco's bus?" I would say yes. Now, you maybe getting confused because I am off on a tangent from the story's origin. Yes, I began talking about the first day of school with teachers putting students on the wrong bus and a few special ed students on a bus who were not signed up to take the bus. (And that is lame since the student you have can not talk and no one knows who this kid is or where they live.) The story of the st...uh...'challenged' youth was from my experience at the end of the school year. I was not hired at this district until the end of March. So, after 7+ months of going to the bus, they still did not know what bus was theirs...It must be because they were locked in a closet all day.

The third little thing you should know is when approaching a green light, stop at the limit line, look both ways, get all the people following behind you to slam on their brakes, and when you feel like it, proceed with great caution.

What did I just say?

2004-09-04T01:45:00.000-07:00

You ever have those moments when you want to open up your own head, pull out your brain, and inspect it to make sure all the appropriate parts are present?

I had one of those moments yesturday. It was a hot, sunny day. Being surrounded by a bunch of yellow and black buses, waxing and painting must have been what through me over the edge. Half-way through the day, I began to be annoyed at some, or maybe almost all, of my co-workers. Their conversations are filled with nothing I can repeat and their lack of movement while being on the clock would make a sloth look like a world class 100-meter runner.

Anyways, appearing from no where was a box of black spray paint. Being a decently proficient spray painter, I decided to paint a few of the bumpers black. After asking the supervisor, I grabbed a can of paint and ran to the nearest bus (I ran because I was actually excited to do some work) I popped off the lid, shook the can vigorously, and began to point the can in the direction of the bumper with my finger poised for action. The most violent scream erupted and I seariously thought one of my eardrums was going to suffer permanent hearing loss. As I turned around this woman was all in my face saying, "Don't do that!!!" I asked why and she replied, "Cause I already painted it!!" like I was supposed to know that.

It is not like we were talking about a Michelangelo or a di Vinci where you take a background and cover it with a masterpiece. A breath-taking, awe-inspiring piece of artwork is worthy of looking at and protecting with such a violent attack as she placed upon me.

Two years ago I would have said some stupid things in reply like: "You have got to be joking. No one can paint that poorly" or "Are you searious? You would claim that crappy painting as your own?" But being a little older and wiser I said "Oh. Sorry." But it was not really a "sorry I almost killed your priceless masterpiece" but "sorry you paint as bad as a handicapped first grader" kind of sorry.

So I figured I had learned my lesson for the day. Always ask the supervisor first which bumpers you can and can not paint because maybe she can decipher which are the junky old bumpers from usage and which are the junky old bumpers from bad spray painting bus drivers.

"Sue, whose bus is 84?" I asked.
"Julie's."
"Oh...she is not here today. Can I paint her butter?"

Alas, we come to the point of the story for which we get the title of it.

Costco a Hobby?

2004-08-27T00:21:00.000-07:00

My wife is a wonderful girl, but I am amazed at somethings she does. I have always viewed going to Costco as a chore or merely something to check off of my "To-Do" list.

Before I began dating my wife, I knew the two most important things in a resturant were: the bread and the toilets. Finding fresh bread and clean bathrooms in a resturant is worth spending $40 on a meal which you did not stay to eat because the bread was so good you eat six loaves of bread before the appetizer comes. Baked goods are the key to her heart. So we are in Costco today around 10:30 am. The baking for the day is just being completed. The cakes are being frosted and rolls are being bagged. All of a sudden I am talking to myself. I can not find Anna. Where do I find my wife? I find her with her nose pressed against that big giant window which allows you to see what is going on in the bakery like a puppy staring out a rolled up car window. She is watching this lady frost 20 cakes at a time saying, "Do you smell that? OH...that smells SO good. Do you SMELL that?"

After 10 minutes we finally make it out of the baked goods section and move to the refrigerator section. BIG mistake. You ever watch a tennis match? My wife was like the ball bouncing back and forth from one side of the refrigerators to the other. "OH!!! They have a Pazooki now!!!" Bounce! "Wow...They have a Cinnabon now!!!" Bounce. And so it went all through Costco.

I do not know of a married couple where the man is the one who is focused on the shopping and the woman is the disinterested party. I am not sure what was going on but I do think my wife has found a new hobby. Some scrapbook, hunt, or fish. My wife goes to Costco.

My (Wierd) Wife & The Taco

2004-08-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

My wife has, or maybe I should say had, an obession with the 'delicate defrost' button on the microwave. She would spend innumerable hours defrosting meats (and even ice cream) completly so, when completly defrosted, she could put them in a 400 degree oven. Tonight all that changed.

So tonight my wife decided to make me some tacos. I was craving them and she wanted to help me fulfill my craving so she hopped in the kitchen and started cooking. I began hearing some wierd noises which I usually do not associate with the taco-making process so I walked in the kitchen. Anna was cooking the ground beef but it was floating in boiling water. I asked what she was doing and she said: "It is obvious! I am boiling the meat because it was frozen, silly." Me? Silly? Why of course!!! She is right. How silly of me not to boil frozen meat before I fry it up.

At this point, only after 6.45 months of marriage, I am really beginning to question my wife's sanity. I asked her why she was boiling the ground beef and not completely 'delicately defrosting' it like all the other meats which were delicately defrosted before being hurled into a 400 degree infero. She replied, "My mom does it this way."

Maybe I am the wierd one. But I do not understand this whole boil the meat thing.

I am so lost

2004-08-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

This is one thing I know nothing about. Everyone is blogging so I figured I would try. Trouble is I started filling out all these different things and do not know what they were for. Username, title, login name and much more...I can't even remember what they all were.

There is one thing I am really concerned about is that people may actually read this. Occasionally something funny will slip out of my mouth but it is a complete accident. But almost everty time I try to be funny or tell a funny story, it does not work. So, here is your warning, THIS BLOG MAY BE BORING AND HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!!!

The Birth of "B-Man"

2004-08-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Many moons ago, a girl in my youth group named Elise came up with a name for me: B-Man. I can not tell you where it came from or what prompted it, but it popped out of her mouth and it stuck for about two years till I moved. I have not seen her or spoke with her for a bit and I miss hearing her cheerful voice sing my nickname. Many good memories begin and end with hearing Elise call me B-Man and it is nice to "hear" it again.

Take care Elise. God bless.